It is only once you can accept yourself for who you are currently, that you can change:
”The curious paradox is that when I accept myself as I am, then I change” (Carl Rogers, 1990, p19)
”Out beyond ideas of wrongdoing and rightdoing, there is a field. I will meet you there” (Jalal ad-Din Rumi)
Rather than seeing what you ‘should’ and ‘shouldn’t’ do, what actions are ‘good’ and ‘bad’ and holding onto expectations of yourself, others and situations so tightly that you frequently feel frustrated or disappointed, acceptance is the essential thing to strive for.