Quotes and Useful Links

Call Me By Your Name by Andre Aciman

I see this as wisdom on the importance of being vulnerable in relationships with others, in order to live and love more fully. And rather than distracting, or denying feelings to ourselves and others, we need to live in the present, take risks to be honest and take action, rather than passively letting life go by  – “How you live your life is your business. But remember, our hearts and our bodies are given to us only once. Most of us can’t help but live as though we’ve got two lives to live, one is the mockup, the other the finished version, and then there are all those versions in between. But there’s only one, and before you know it, your heart is worn out, and, as for your body, there comes a point when no one looks at it, much less wants to come near it. Right now there’s sorrow, I don’t envy the pain. But I envy you the pain” (p225)

and

You can try and mask painful feelings, with distractions such as alcohol, drugs, eating, work, or by putting up defences so as not to trust or get close too anyone too easily, in the hope to avoid further emotional pain. But by masking the pain, you also mask the joy and emotions on the colourful end of the spectrum, which make us truly alive –  “If there is pain, nurse it, and if there is a flame, don’t snuff it out, don’t be brutal with it. Withdrawal can be a terrible thing when it keeps us awake at night, and watching others forget us sooner than we’d want to be forgotten is not better. We rip out so much of ourselves to be cured of things faster than we should that we go bankrupt by the age of thirty and have less to offer each time we start with someone new. But to feel nothing so as not to feel anything – what a waste!”

 

 

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